Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
His hands were made for my vagina.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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