Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
