I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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