I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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