So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
