There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize