would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
