is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
