Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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