i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
