Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
