I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
