I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
