I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I wish there were birth control emojis
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
