It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
