We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Come see our sink grown plant.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
