oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
