What did we do last night that was yellow?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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