This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
