She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
