bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
