Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
