my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
tell your sister to shave her snatch
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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