If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
