You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
