Come see our sink grown plant.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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