Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
