How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
