I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
