So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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