I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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