allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
vagina is talking i cant
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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