easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
