Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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