Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
