I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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