Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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