what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
