haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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