no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
