Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
