Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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