she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
