i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
