is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
