i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
