My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
