I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
