Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
