I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
