Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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