It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
