I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
