Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
