apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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