I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
